Questionable Advice: Most Ironic Signs Of All Time

See the whole slideshow at Huffpost.

Gifs of popular rappers.

Gifs of popular rappers.

(via Aziz is bored)

One for the ladies...

(via AHTBM)

Ben Folds Chatroulette

Hammerhead Eage i-Thrust Electric Car

Witness the masterpiece that is the "Hammerhead Eagle i-Thrust" electric car. This magnificent piece of automotive engineering was Frankensteined together from various pieces of cars and junk by the hosts of the popular and hilarious BBC/BBC America show "Top Gear". The view is the test and review of the car by the editors of "AutoCar" I take to be a limey car rag. Enjoy.

The Worst Commercial Ever

Chances are you've seen this commercial too, as it's on it a near constant loop. What I'd love to have someone explain to me is why a state of national emergency was declared when we saw half a African-American boob for a fraction of a second, and not when this stupid white lady talks about jimmying a dirty plastic tube into her lady junk 20 times a day.

When Schoolhouse Rock Goes Bad

(via Late Night With Jimmy)

Mexican American's Have a Son-in-Law Named Jeff

Consider yourself educated and shit.

Fun With Presidential Photos: Part 4 Health Care Edition

"Today's House vote on Health Care Reform comes after 53 years of work, more than a year of protracted debate, and too many late nights to mention. It is a great moment on the life of our country for millions of Americans. Now to the Republicans who stonewalled me and the Teabaggers who so recently spat on John Lewis and called him a nigger, Barry has a question for you: How does my dick taste? The answer is: Barry's dick tastes like freedom. Barry's dick tastes like justice flowing like a river. I also imagine it's a little salty. Enjoy."

Rep. John Lewis is a huge pimp.

I'll be listening to this on repeat today. Keep in mind all the shit this guy has put up with in his life including being called nigger buy an angry mob as he walk to his office the last couple of days. All you haters can suck his enormous balls.

It's all starting to make sense to me now...

Devo: Working in a Coal Mine

Fun With Presidential Photos: Part 3

"Now listen up people. Once the movie starts Barry doesn't want to hear any talking, any cell phones buzzing, any loud chewing, or really any other kind of noise that distracts Barry from pretending all the guys getting riddled with holes are Rep. Mike Pence and not just the Japanese infantry. Alright? Good. Let's do this thing Hanks."

Rep. Alan Grayson Campaign Letter (He Ain't Nothin' To Fuck Wit)

 

On Friday night, Sarah Palin came to Orlando, and attacked Rep. Alan Grayson. This is what she said:

"I got to meet quite a few candidates who are lining up in a contested primary who want to take out Alan Grayson. And I think Alan Grayson -- what can you say about Alan Grayson? Piper is with me tonight, so I won't say anything about Alan Grayson that can't be said around children. [Good one, Sarah!] But thank you, Florida, for allowing candidates in a contested primary to duke it out over ideas and principles and values, all with the same goal, and that is unseating those who have such a disconnect from the people of America. That's what the goal is here in this race against Alan Grayson. Please fight hard, and do this for the rest of the country. Fight hard, and send a conservative to Washington, DC."

Palin, the former half-term Governor, current-nothing and future-even-less, charmed the all-Republican audience with her folksy folksiness and her homespun homespunnery. Atypically, Palin was wearing clothes that she had paid for herself. At the end of the event, she shared her recipe for mooseface pie.

In response to Palin's attack on Rep Grayson, Grayson actually complimented Palin. Grayson praised Palin for having a hand large enough to fit Grayson's entire name on it. He thanked Palin for alleviating the growing shortage of platitudes in Central Florida. Grayson added that Palin deserved credit for getting through the entire hour-long program without quitting. Grayson also said that Palin really had mastered Palin's imitation of Tina Fey imitating Palin. Grayson observed that Palin is the most-intelligent leader that the Republican Party has produced since George W. Bush.

When asked to comment about what effect Palin's criticism might have, Grayson pointed out, "As the Knave's horse says in Alice in Wonderland, 'dogs will believe anything.'" Earlier, as the Orlando Sentinel reported, Grayson said, "I'm sure Palin knows all about politics in Central Florida, since from her porch she can see Winter Park," which is part of Grayson's district.

Grayson said that the Alaskan chillbilly was welcome to return to Central Florida anytime, as long as she brings lots of money with her, and spends it. "I look forward to an honest debate with Governor Palin on the issues, in the unlikely event that she ever learns anything about them," Grayson added, alluding to Politifact's "liar, liar, pants on fire" evaluation of much of what Palin has said .

Scientists are studying Sarah Palin's travel between Alaska and Florida carefully. They hope to learn more about the flight patterns of that elusive migratory species, the wild Alaskan dingbat.

(via Alan Grayson who don't give a fuck)

Pain somehow often funny.

Best Fails of 2009 - watch more funny videos

(Via Funny or Die)

Contessa Brewer Didn't Like What She Found.

I was lucky enough to see this live. Contessa has a way with the ad lib. You'll need to watch the beginning for context, but I started laughing around 0:49.

So, So True

(Via Texts From Last Night)

I could normally care less about trivia such as this, but this one blew my mind. Click here to check it out.

1987 7-11 Cycling Team

This ruined cycling and music for me at the same time. (via  Cycling Inquistion)

World's Youngest Robert De Niro Impersonator

I'm coming to your house today...

(via Evil Cycling)

Hot Tub Time Machine

As stupid as this movie will undoubtedly be I am unabashedly excited to view it's wonder. While I imagine that it will in fact be funny, I am mostly excited for the revival of the 80's ski movie achetype. For the unnitiated here are some other greats from the genre for you Netflix pleasuring.

Hot Dog: The Movie



Ski School



Better off Dead



(Bonus points awarded if you noticed Cusack is also in this movie from '85. He is the alpha and omega of this genre.)

Are you fucking kidding me?!

Every day Rep. Massa walks right up to Congress, squares his heel, and kicks it right in the dick. A tickle fight? A fucking tickle fight? LBJ woulda cut your cock off, nailed it to his office door, and used it as a coat hanger. Drop dead asshole. (Via NYTimes)

I take back everything I said.

This is gonna be great!

Congress: Feel free to hide your heads in shame...anytime now.

This is Marcelas Owens. He's 10 years old and the youngest heath care lobbyist on Capitol Hill. The reason he's a lobbyist and not say playing on a jungle gym is that he's pissed that his Mom died of a treatable illness because she lost her health insurance because she lost he job, because she was sick. It's a sad day when it takes a 10 year old to talk some sense into our representatives. Git r done Marcelas.

Seattle Times

Legend of the Guardians

Look, I'm an owl, they're owls. It's just how it is. Maybe it won't suck. I had a small part. Looks for the white owl laughing his owl balls off.

Tron 2 Trailer

Please don't ruin the last good thing about the 80's. I'm begging you.

What Up With That?

SNL is always going to be a hit or miss affair, but there is one recurring segment this season that never fails to please: What Up With That? The set up and delivery of the bit itself is actually pretty funny, but if you pay any attention to it you miss the real payoff. Just watch the skit through and just pay attention to Jason Sudeikis dancing in the background in a red warm up suit and fro wig. I never get tired of it.

DJ Father Ninja Chef

For those of you who aren't addicted to Food Network's fine program Throwdown (really everybody) let me introduce you to a recent guest contestant Father Leo Patalinghug. As is the theme of the show the good Padre was challenged by Chef Bobby Flay to compete to see who makes the best fajitas. Keep in mind that Bobby is pretty much world famous for his restaurants that serve Spanish and Mexican foods. Skipping to the point crushed Flay like a clove of garlic. Even better, during the competition toyed with Flay mentioning among other things that he had been taught to prep vegetables while a seminary student in Rome while volunteering in the soup kitchen at the Vatican. Pretty fucking slick right? Hold that thought. Guess who was his teacher in the soup kitchen? Mother Teresa of Calcutta, that's who. Yes, that Mother Teresa. Even world renowned celebrity chef Bobby Flay was like I can't follow that. But wait, the good Padre is just warming up so put on a hat cause I'm gonna blow your fucking mind. Another interesting facts about Father Leo: he is a successful break dancer and break dance choreographer. Even cooler than being a awesome break dancer is that Father Leo is also a 3rd degree black belt and martial arts instructor too. Yes, he's been busy.(Here is some of his dance work)



All this is pretty badass, but the reason Father Leo was on the show was because he has a Catholic cooking show about how to cook with and for your family. So why does he have this show? Two reasons. First, Father Leo is a pretty awesome chefs, like everything else that he does. He's like the Midas of Filipino priests. Second, he wanted to reach out to his flock so he found a way to engage them where they were and in a way that they were comfortable with.

I can't tell you how many times I talk to some poor asshole who's completely mystified why they can't sell their widget. Every one of them basically thinks their potential customers are all idiots and should just do what they are told on the sellers terms and it would be golden because they are the world's greatest genius. Generally the reason they aren't successful is because they are either too lazy to consider they actual needs and wants of their customers or to lazy to do anything outside of their comfort zone. Here's a little news flash: How much harder is it for Father Leo as a ninja, chef, dancer, priest to go out of his box against literally centuries of tradition to reach his flock than for any business. Now quit your fucking bitching.

Geneva Auto Show: Car Porn

If you heard a sound like a flag being raised at reveille it was the giant boner Jay Leno has from looking at the hot cars at the Geneva Auto Show. Here are my favorites. Note one is a fucking Hyundai I-Flow. Yes, I said Hyundai. I know, I pissed my pants a little bit too.

 

And of course the new Benz (boing!).

 

American Al Qaeda Captured

Every now an again things just seem to go your way, such as the Pakistani's capturing the uber-douche American Al Qaeda, formerly of Riverside, California (Where you at Teabaggers?). I recall that the punishment for treason is execution by hanging. Until then I know a man who sure would like to talk to this gentleman. I don't know what they'll talk about, but given that we know how Dick treats his good friends I don't think it will be pretty. Via con dios jackass.

Tony Bourdain @ Yo Gabba Gabba

Before Tony was a slightly annoying Travel TV host he was a freaking awesome chef and an amazing writer to boot. I haven't read any of his mysteries but his book "Kitchen Confidential" was a page turner best read while listening to 70's punk rock turned up too loud. Now I get to watch the knucklehead on our favorite children show to watch while tripin on mushrooms.

Bed Jumpers

Series of bed jumpers photos. Goofy shit. Check it out here (via David Pogue @ NYTimes).

Chuck Norris Action Jeans

Search Amazon.com for delta force

This is how I ride.

I mean that in the sense that I ride on a mountain bike in the woods while wearing clothes.

Have you seen this cat?

(via ALTBM)

Fun With Presidential Photos: Part 2

 

Dalai Lama: What?!...China won't work with you on Iran?!...Oh wow. You wanna see my shocked face?...Whaaaaaaaaa?!?!?!

Fun With Presidential Photos: Part 1

 

Barry's...To do...list.

Number...1...Pass...health...care...bill.

Number...2...Quit...smoking...already...for...Christ's sake.

Number...3...Stab...Eric Cantor...in...the...fucking...dickhole.

Selling the Dream

Thule "Bike Spot" from Nathan Avila on Vimeo.

This is a Thule commercial. This is how people who know what they are doing actually sell stuff. No one gives a shit about your product. Your product/service is a gateway to an experience they are longing for. Deliver on that and nobody will care about how much it costs.

May I Present: The Bike Snob NYC

For those of you who don't enjoy wearing Y-front pants and riding around you neighborhood like a chucklehead let me introduce you to the fine comedic stylings of Bikesnobnyc. Check him out.

Lawsuit Bait

I hope these guys have a reserve account just set up for lawyers and such. I can already see the defamation and cease and desist letters in my mind. Stay classy San Diego. (Thanks to JB for the heads up)

Loretta Lynn would totally cut you.

I'm mad as hell and I have access to Powerpoint

Yours is a very bad hotel

View more presentations from whatidiscover.

Sometimes, when I'm feeling like a shitty employee (often), I watch this slideshow and it makes me feel better. Never piss off a man who bears a grudge and has mad MS Office 2000 skillz.

What Is Good Content?

JESS3 / The State of The Internet from JESS3 on Vimeo.

People oh so frequently ask me what my presentation/ad/video/banner/brochure/pitch/slam dance party needs to look/feel/sound/taste like so that people will do what I want. Here's an example. If your shit isn't this thoughtful, simple, and compelling you fail. That simple. Here's a couple of books that can help.

Gov. Rick Perry

https://twitter.com/rickperryfacts