Canada: Do you have a spare bedroom?

As the pants crapping possibility of a President Palin grows on the horizon my bet hedging impulse has been urging me to come up with a backup plan. First I thought about the lovely lands and peoples of Mexico & Costa Rica. These places enjoy cozy climates, low costs of living, and a cornucopia of tacos and I love tacos. However the twin terrors of narcotics war and having to actually master a romance language snapped my happy ass back to reality. No bueno.

Plan B would be to take the route so many hippies before have driven and short sell this debt ravaged land of the free and jump the northern border for Canada. I mean look at this place. It's frickin gorgeous. Plus no crime, no medical bill collectors, and you can eat elk for breakfast. Where can a brother sign up? The internet it turns out. In contrast to the totally insane multi-decade archaic cluster fuck that is the American immigration system Canada has a 90 second online quiz to see if you qualify. The best news is the passing score is only 67! If only that had been true in high school my parents wouldn't have been so disappointed. Here's how I fared:

Better clean out your guest room Canada cause we're packing the Foreman Grill, eight thankless years of French lessons, and all our guns and headed your way. Bienvenue comrades!